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ASH ON ASS

I have relatives who will never get married. In fact, if I received their wedding invitation, I would choke on my morning cup of ‘uji.’

The closest they got to getting laid is when they once said a simple “hello,” back in lower primary school, while borrowing a pencil from the girl that use to sit next to them in class.

These relatives live in a world of their own. A world in which women do not exist. Or any sexual partners. They are neither gay nor straight.

Sometimes I tend to think they have some other wierd sexual fantasies. Like getting attracted to trees and mountains .

They have dated Mt Kilimanjaro for five years after which they broke up and dated Mt Elgon. They have had evening dates with eucalyptus and slept with acacia shrubs. They are wired differently.

They will go to parties like a normal human being, but while at the parties, they will forget their human form and turn into aliens. You will find them playing video games while the likes of Shiru are dangerously twerking to ‘parte after parte’ right in front of their wide open eyes.

Oh! Most of them are financially stable. So it’s not a question of money. Most of them have pretty faces as well, so it’s not that their faces scare away potential suitors.

And…. most of them are talented. Some are writers and could be the ones writing whatever you are reading right now.

These men are unpredictable. They are people that people do not understand. No one knows what they want with their lives. I bet they too do not know where their lives are headed and they do not care. Ni kama wamerogwa.

According to our tradition, when these people die without wives and kids, their asses get smeared with ash to break the curse. They get buried with ash on ass.

when will people like that get married? To fellow human species and not trees and mountains.

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The ”FRIDAY -do not” list

In our time we have focused much on what we must do.Sometimes we realise that there is much that we dont need to do to live a decent life…..

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Do not forget…

…don’t forget what makes us human.

  • Do not forget to dream
  • Do not forget to laugh
  • Do not forget to cry
  • Do not forget what summer vacation feels like
  • Do not forget the child in you

Do not blame…

  • Do not blame the company
  • Do not blame your country
  • Do not blame the weather
  • Do not blame the traffic
  • Do not blame God

…don’t blame others and other things.

Do not ignore…

  • Do not ignore a child’s question
  • Do not ignore the needs of the elderly
  • Do not ignore the loneliness of the infirmed
  • Do not ignore a beautiful sky
  • Do not ignore the value of your smile

…don’t ignore an open hand; an unpainted canvas.

Do not become…

  • Do not become complacent
  • Do not become uncaring
  • Do not become all-important
  • Do not become arrogant
  • Do not become selfish

…don’t become less of you.

Do not say…

  • Do not say, “I didn’t notice you were gone”
  • Do not say, “I hate you”
  • Do not say, “I don’t care”
  • Do not say, “I don’t have time”
  • Do not say, “I don’t have to say ‘I’m sorry’”

…don’t say hurtful things.

Do not miss…

  • Do not miss your child’s school play
  • Do not miss your spouse’s birthday
  • Do not miss a daily prayer of thanks
  • Do not miss wishing someone a great day
  • Do not miss planning your next vacation

…don’t miss today’s opportunities.

Do not overlook…

  • Do not overlook the contributions of those that work with you
  • Do not overlook injustice
  • Do not overlook the need to hug or be hugged
  • Do not overlook the value of your presence
  • Do not overlook the great potential that lies within your heart

…don’t overlook how you can make a difference today.

Whether it be more; whether it be less: your “DO NOT” list enables you and me to discard the unnecessary baggage that holds us back from reaching our true potential, our true calling of serving our families, friends, fellow associates, our communities and our customers each day

Corona Virus in Kenya,a government’s achievement?

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You probably have heard the deadly disease with roots from Wuhan China.But the government despite being aware kept flights from those affected countries flowing in and out of the country.Now that the World Health Organization declared it a pandemic,and its slashing some good cash to affected countries to control the flu,they have had to confirm a case so as to enter into the list of beneficiaries.Thats how those that you elected to protect you do things.

Do you have a story or an article you feel should be published in this blog?share it via 0701131637 or nathanielmusyoki@gmail.com

Home Ownership: Why Optiven’s Kitengela Victory Gardens?

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Kitengela is a serene cosmopolitan town in Kajiado Region. In the not so distant past, the pastoralist Maasai slaughtered their cattle there in a group ranch. Afterward, in 1988 the ranch was subdivided among individuals to urge individuals to possess land individually. From that point forward, Kitengela has developed significantly. The hurry for so many people to rush and own land there has not eased back down. Generally speaking, discover reasons why Kajiado Province is the spot to watch

Located 30 kilometers south of Nairobi and outskirts Athiriver on the east. This makes it all the more appealing to the Nairobi working and middle class to build homes. In addition to the fact that it is near the city, it is additionally a quiet spot to return home to each night. Financial specialists have not been abandoned as well, enterprises, production lines, banks, schools, colleges have moved to Kitengela.

Financial Institutions Within Kitengela

There are a number of banks in the area such as Equity, Family Bank, Co-op bank, and KCB. KCA University, KAG University, The East African University and Kitengela Institute of Professional Studies are some of the institutes of higher learning that have sprouted over the years. Moreover, Kitengela is an industrial town with major industries.  Kenya Export Processing Zone (EPZ), Athi River Mining, Kenya Meat Commission and East Africa Portland Cement boost the economy. Besides these, there are social amenities as well. Primary and secondary schools, International Schools, supermarkets, hospitals, cybercafés, boutiques as well as petrol stations are readily available in the area.

Kitengela is along fully tarmacked Nairobi – Namanga highway making the town fast and easily accessible

Why Invest with Optiven anyway?

  • We offer plots at a very competitive price with flexible payment terms upon qualification.
  • Out plots have piped clean water, electricity connection, children play area and trees plan,security-caretaker,fencing and identifiable beacons
  • Not to mention, all our plots have genuine and verifiable ready titles.

would you like to know more of our amazing products?Call us on 0748954058 or email excellence@optiven.co.ke and get every question answered instantly

The Ticks of Nairobi (part 1)

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If you grew in Nairobi and its immediate skirts you might grasp perfecetly the story of ticks,cattle and farmers.But you probably have noticed those smoothly nourished Masai cows cohabiting with nairobians in several estates,very resilient with Iq wayward from an ordinary freshian in Kiambu waiting to be milked in the afternoon.Yes they are smart,and did you notice how majestically they cross the roads?mdogo mdogo tu,hakuna stress,never even minding of vehicles coming their way.Methinks they should evolve and join the slayqueen bandwagon before the song is over.

Likewise,we have human version of ticks,only found in Nairobi,just like the cow ticks embedding themselves to be carried away to whenever the cow goes,to suck your meager resources free of charge,shelter at your place for how long i dont know and of course sh*t on you wherever they want.You see,surving in Nairobi alone should be added on your CV as a life skill.And as such these “nairobi ticks”,only found in Nairobi have to find a way on how to do it effortlessly…………….to be continued

The Butterfly Effect Monday


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The “Butterfly Effect theory” refers to the concept that even a small change can have disproportionately large effects over time, such as the beating of butterfly wings.Even a tiny change made in one area may reverberate beyond anything we can imagine.  Every choice you ever made has led you to this moment.

Image credit: The Minds JournalWhat can you take away from this? Pay attention to the small choices you make in life – whether it’s choosing to treat a stranger kindly, respond to a text you might have ignored, or choose a healthy snack over a treat – you never know where they may lead, or how they will accumulate.

“What we do every day is more important than what we do once in a while.” So, make your choices and make them loud. Care about the little things. Follow mutukuthinks.wordpress.com for more of this motivational articles

15 interview questions you must learn how to answer

YImage result for interviewsYou probably ave attended several interviews without a call-back afterwards and you wonder whether you always get everything wrong. Here are 16 common interview questions that you should read through and carefully think about how you’ll answer them.

  • Why are you here?
  • How did you hear about us?
  • What do you know about the company?
  • Why do you want this job?
  • Tell us about your previous experience in relation to this offer?
  • Tell us about a challenge you’ve faced at work and how you dealt with it?
  • What do you consider to be your weakness?
  • How do you deal with pressure?
  • Why are you leaving your current job?
  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
  • What do you like to do outside work environment?
  • Why should we hire you?
  • What are your salary requirements?
  • Do you have any questions?
  • Can you tell us about yourself?

mutukuthinks.wordpress.com

What Eats Into Us!

Image result for scratching buttocksOne problem we have as a nation is leaders who scratch their buttocks publicly, remember that?You got a memory to cherish, but wait, would you scratch your behinds in presence of a people you respect,??That’s what our leaders would do anytime.A direct replica of what they take us for.

These people do not respect the electrorate nor do they mind putting a heavy yoke on them.The president goes on to China to acquire debts which by the time he exits the white office we still be struggling to send the next cent to Asia lest they send Jackie Continue reading “What Eats Into Us!”

WORK FOR YOUR DREAM LIFE

#JulywithJames

Its a great time to think about your life & where you are. You could still be Jobless, bitter, broke & broken about your past,you could be waiting for that connection to set you up, you could also be mad at everyone for not helping you out.

Well life is about taking risks and ownership. Stop depending on people like they owe you a life. Start working on yourself. Start positioning & packaging yourself well. Take calculated risks You are the connection the world is waiting for. Work on yourself & stop depending on people.

There is no one that will give you the life that you want. Its something you work on. Its something you do yourself. You have tried prophets, and shaks you have tried shouting the loudest “Amen or I receive” the whole year & nothing has changed. Your prophet told you 2018 is your year & you believed till today.

– Laziness is a disease whose cure you have. Get up to work !!! Stop praying for what you refuse to show faith for by going for it. Refuse to be left behind again. Dont wait for a blessing in your bed. Get up to work & change your.

No one owes you a life & no one will ever get you out of the position where you lack to a position of abundance – It has to be you to take things personal & do what you have to change your situation. Stop wasting time waiting for help that never comes #tinybits

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